Meaning of ABCDEFG and vice versa XD

Different POV on a sweet guy and a bitch gal LOL

Destress after rushing on assignment

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a corpse. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them,
'In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.'

For example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.
'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the corpse and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,
'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.'

Best Resume XD

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,
Pepole really seam to respond
to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

BRYAN

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employers response:

Dear Bryan ,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.

See you Monday.

MY DOG "SEX"

When I adopted a dog, I decided to give it an unusual name. After some hard thinking, I decided to call him "SEX". Well, SEX is a very embarrassing name.

One day I took SEX for a walk an he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for SEX. A policeman came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4am in the morning. I said I was looking for SEX. My case came up in the following week.

One day, I went to get a license for SEX. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for SEX. He said, "I would like to have one too." then I said, "You don't understand, I had SEX since I was ten years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have SEX at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But SEX has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around SEX." He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in this church. I told him everybody coming to the wedding would enjoy having SEX there. The next day, we were married by the justice of peace. My family was barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog with us along on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and myself and also a special room for SEX. The clerk said that every room in the motel is for SEX. Then I said, "You don't understand, SEX keeps me awake at night," and the clerk said, "Me too."

One day I told a friend I had SEX on TV. He said,"Show off." I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said,"Your Honour, I had SEX before I was married." And the judge said,"Me too."

Well now, I have been thrown in jail, been married, divorced, and had more damned trouble with the dog than I ever bargained for. Why, just the other day, when I went for the first session with the psychiatrist and she asked me what the problem was, and I replied,"Hell, SEX has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I know that SEX isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."

Court in India

Judge: Raj, why were you beaten up in public? What you did?

Raj: Sir I am innocent.

Judge: How can you say that?

Raj: Your honour, I was in crowded bus, my photo fell from wallet, so I said to lady in front of me, 'Aunty, please lift your Sari, I want to take photo...!

XD

40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Sometimes the things you wish for you get. Thus, be careful when you wish!!!!!!

This is priceless!

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant youeach a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two ticketsfor the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is allvery romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!.....the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful and idiots should remember that fairies are female.....